life ...

Well guys I have never really cried on here nor have I really told y'all that I'm one of those pathetic people that only has freinds that I actually speak to online ( y'all ) . But now you know . I said that to bring a little light on why IM making this post , one because noone that may read this except the 2 of you actually know me so it doesnt matter what they think and I need to talk to someone ... I had to take off a good bit this last yr due to sickness and although I dont have a single un excused day Meaning I have a doctors excuse for everyday missed , I got terminated Monday after being sick and miss 3 days . I was so sick I couldnt even sit up an get online as y'all already knw from not seeing me here for a few days . Thats why I have ben very ill , sory . But now I am starting my new yr off in a nightmare , un - employed with 2 small kids and double the regular bills and my wife is gon in to have her historectamy next week ( sory for spelling shes havein her girl stuff took out ) . But we were about to open the store in the new building now thats gone I cant pay my house payment much less the extra lease on a commercial lot . The double power bills are in they were due last week , the best part is the water while normal people have one thats 20 bucks IM a aquariast lol so mine is in the hundreds . Its hard to believe that a month ago everything was fine going smooth and while it was tight , I was all in trying to open and keep my home an other job ...it was working I was floating but bairly and now with this ...its a rock a huge stinking big rock tossed tight center mass on me and IM goin straight to the bottom of forever fast . At this point even if I go back to work some where next month it will take months to get the bills an late fees caught up enought to consider re stocking and looking for another location , I dont know whats worst watching my dream and life fall away into ablivion or haveing my kids ask me about the whole process and want to know why . God help me I have tried to help people those I know and those I didnt good or bad . The reason I only talk to you guys is cause the ones I thought were freinds here always turned out to be after something . And knowing it I still played dumb and let them get what they needed or wanted from me cause I thought its what was right in a sence, I thought they needed it more than me . And really i think they did , me an my kids have been with my wife and without but always me an them and always made it on very little sometimes but now ..now its gone ..everything . I asked a few people about maybe loaning us or helping with a place and they are going out of their way to say no .. what am i suppose to do y'all .....Well Im goin to bed I am goin to try to find a job in the morning , thanks for listening and any responces y'all might have . God bless .
On a brighter note my neighber has wi-fi and I can pick it up on my laptop lol so I can update y'all to my soap opera saga of a life as it continues to spiral away into the abyess ...